Unicorns and Chilli Sauce

I'd like to start by saying that the reason I haven't checked in for a while is because I've been on a week long bender fuelled by partying, sex, drugs and a lot of booze.

I'd also like a unicorn but I hear they're extinct.

Actually I've been surprisingly well behaved on this continent thus far- the last few days have been completely about me sorting out/editing my audio and show reels. It's been long and stressful and I've barely left the house. I stink of three day old underwear and there's food in my 'stache but I'm staying optimistic... there will be all the time in the world for mischief and mayhem in a couple of weeks, so now is the time to be productive!

Speaking of productive, I've already lined myself up a job. Working in promo again, but hey- I'm overqualified and it's instant $$$. MY GOD! That reminds me- I'm going to take this opportunity to warn all of you back home just how low the wage is here for the standard person. I'm on 10quid/hr base... but keep those jaws tied up because apparently if you work behind a bar it's less than that, and I know landscapers working up their heatstroke for 7Quid. Ok, permission to drop jaws now.

The plus side is that food and clothing works out cheaper than on our little island.

Still, if you have a “skill”, they are in high demand constantly for you over here, and boy do you get the big bucks. So... contemplate it.

I've been having a blast staying with Gareth (I like to call him Gaz but I sound like a bogan when I put it in writing). Already I feel so well educated. I know that, given the choice, I should buy booze from an off premise and not the supermarket. At our local corner store you get 6 for 6 (cans for pounds) if you pay cash. It's mix and match beer and includes cider! Just to compare, I can buy three ciders at the supermarket for 10.99...

Gareth has introduced me to this incredibly tasty hot chilli sauce and I'm slowly becoming addicted (who'd have thought?!). There's a great little Vietnamese restaurant nearby which serves the stuff. We've been there twice this week! In fact just last night it was like a Zanas reunion (minus some of the key players.) Flop and Jay Jay have just arrived on holiday, Nick has lived here since Feb, and of course there is Gaz and now myself. It makes you pause to marvel at how people weave in and out of each other's paths in life. I wonder who will twist around me next?

Last week I had a chance to walk around London. Wow. I only hit the tip of the iceberg but so many gorgeous buildings with such history! I can only imagine how my mind will be blown throughout Europe... And those who know me well will understand the impact that being in West End had on me. I'm not admitting to anything, but is it foreseeable that a person MAY be overwhelmed enough to evoke that icky wet salty stuff? I mean, hypothetically of course. I have this friend...

Strolling along, mouth agape, I recall experiencing a strong sense of deja vu. Fleet St, The Strand, Pall Mall, Covent Garden, Bond St, Mayfair, Park Lane.... it was just like being in a Monopoly game! Screw being the bank- I'm the ultimate playing piece! Who's gonna want the shoe now?

Ha. That reminds me. There is a Monopoly Pub Crawl. No, I am not kidding. What fun! It seems one starts about 10am and finishes at dawn the following morning, hopping from pub to pub at each location on the board game. Of course, things run behind, and it is inevitable that a shot will have to be had at certain venues instead of a whole drink. You know, just to get back on top of things.

Being a fellow Aussie, Gaz understands the importance of undertaking such a rite of passage, and is assisting in my training. One must be pub fit after all!
Which meant that I recently spent 8hrs at the pub, and I wasn't playing pool. Actually a lot of my time was occupied being chatted up by a homeless lesbian (former Amazing Race participant) from South Africa.

Great news is that I got a free massage and I didn't have to take her home.

Better news is that I went drink for drink with the boys and wasn't sick.

This is a fantastic solid start to training. Shoe, wheelbarrow and thimble- Look out! Lola is in town...

St. Paul's Cathedral

Fleet Street

Me, Gaz, Flop, Nick, JJ and the London Bus